really love u so much.,...................

Today i wake up at 1pm in the morning , taking my breakfast n lunch 2gahter. watch tv, go plyground. Then waiting 4 u to cum back. I show to u bout my new hair n u told me that u like it so much. U seems vry happy bout it. Tat day u told me that wednesday v r going to watch movie with Eddie then i felt so happy bout it cause it seems to b long time i didn't go out for a movie ed. Then suddenly u told me that
2molo u will start working wit ur uncle. U will go to kuala pilah bout evening only will cum bac. I didn't angry bout it but i felt sad cuz i tought u will acoompany me when v got holiday 2gahter but u have to work. I noe the reason why u have to work. I understand. I never wanna to blame u but i felt lonely cuz i don't no what to do at home. I am vry boring. If i wanna find a job , thinking who wanna hire me cuz my holiday is juz left 2 weeks. Then wat i should do at home watching tv, ply games, o sleeping??????????? wat should i do??? I really gonna miss u even 4 a day. U juz like my heart beat without u i can't survive. Today we talk a lot. We always talk a lot bout our future. It seems like both of us were almost the same as each other. I like the way u r. U teach me a lot of thing that had make me the way i am today. I found out that i had change a lot, and i am vry happy with the way i am now. I am vry appreciate that god had selected u to join into my life after all the thing that i had been through for so mny years. U teach me alot. U make me realise that in this world there is still god with us. I rally like u so much. I never meet a person that treat me so nice as my grandfather. I rally appreciated what i had been through with u. I will always remember in my heart "as a person we must always appreciate what we got in our life" juz like " beggars must not be choosers". I like this sentences so much. This sentences make me "toe to line" with you. Both of us juz like "birds of a feather flock togather". Me and u will always had a dream say that " Every dog has its day" both of us are waiting for the day to cum. Dar dar always say that "honesty is the best policy" this is wat dar dar father teach dar dar. After so much u teach me it make me " let bygones be bygones" it make me felt more better nw. I really appreciate dar dar. I will try my best to love u 4ever until the day i die. I juz wanna say sry to dar dar. i didn't mean to hurt u when i says those words, I didn't mean to say that u r juz like them . It is "once bitten twice shy" . I am really sry bout it. But i promis i will try my vry best to trust u and i hope u won't be hurt anymore cuz i trust u more than anyting right nw. I love u more than ever. Pls trust me i will wait for u. REALLY GONNA MISS U SO MUCH. LOVE U 4EVER. MUACK

I hate the day of my life ( sucks )

today really boring . Early morning wake up ed felt so sleepy , follow my mum go here and there............. came back do my case study , i spoilt my modem and my computer file corrupted all my files gone . I rush to the nearest cafe to complete the case study so that can pass it up to my fren as soon as possible . But in the end what did i got ?????????? my fren scold me like hell say all my work is rubbish. Haw can they say me like that i try my best to do . 1 thing for sure is this is the 1st time i do case study i am not really know about it so i just try to do all my best . But in the end they scold me like that. haiz then now the fucking indian girl say she didn't receive any e-mail from me what the hell is she talking about is all nonsen then my fren send to them they say they didn't receive any e-mail also . Then my fren told me i think they don't want to do the work so they say they didn't receive it . ( all Sohai , fuck ) i hate them . Indian people so lazy ask them go die then like to bluff people . I hate this kind of society ( all of them go hell better ) waiting me to feed them ; let them starving then slowly die better ; no tears for this kind of people . Haiz feel like wanna cry out don't know what I have done to deserve all this kind of punishment . God please help me . I really tired of everything . Feel like want to give up everything ; say goodbye to this wonderful world . I know i am just someone that is very useless . Just hate me if you really want cause i really don't care about it ................ ( juz fuck off )

4 oct 09

erm yesterday i didint write my blog cause the whole day went to times square and sungai wang shopping . When came back that time was damn tired already so i fall asleep . haha .... today went 1u shopping . I felt so happy cause i bought 1 mickey bag worth 169 ringgit . I love it so much . haiz, this few days really so tired dun have a proper sleep oso . Now even so stress for my case study haven't finish and presentation . a lot of work to do . Even though i so busy in my mind i still think of him . But is ok all will be alright . I am juz wondering how could this be you not here with me . Did all this thing really need to happen and makes me who i am today . It seems everyday in my mind i ask myself how did all this thing happen in my life ?????????? why !!!!!!!!!!! but is over . anyway though v far apart u always in my heart . U will always in my heart . Hope u happy everyday . Dun always sad for a person who never care for you. Cause he or she will never know how u feel . Lastly juz wan to let u know nobody know with the way i know u. Nobody know u more then me. Its seems like we are already so close to know each other. beside you are juz not the one for me . Anyway i hope we will be togather for the next birth. Really vry tired of love . It really so complicated for me. In this world nobody is perfect . Is really true . haiz tomolo go bac to college . miss all my fren . Now is already so late have to sleep . 12am in the morning . Sweet dream . Hope there will be a better day for tomorrow.

2 oct 09

today like usual wake up at 5.00am in the morning then go out eat roti bakar at ' NKS ' . Reach hospital at bout 6.45am . I straight away go up to the ward . Today i incharge cubical 4 , my partner is suhada , jananee & premah . Today my cubical was so easy . Only got 5 patients. All is independent patient . Susan was in cubical 5 i know there got a lot dreesing so i help her. Today is our last day at kajang so our clinical instructor pass back our academic report . My marks was not bad . But i still need to work hard for my #osky# in order to get 4 flat . hehe. Bout 1 pm all of our frens gathering with our CI and take picture for the last memory in Kajang hospital . After that each and everyone of us take turn to hug our CI . After that say our last goodbye to CI . Reach home as usual take out my lap top then facebook. Hehe thats my job. Juz like my fren say " you got no other better work to do are " so funny . I love this sentences so much . Then i go take my bath . Bout 6.15pm my frens and me went to eat at sunway damansara by walking after that went qiant . Bout 9pm sumting wee walk back to condominium . I walk until my foot superficial layer of the skin peel of . It was damn pain . But i juz can't do anyting i was pain. But for me the pain is tolerable. ok lah now oso vry late already . I felt so tired and sleepy . Enjoy every moment of life .

1 oct 09

haiz today vry boring .. morning wake up at 5.00 am . so damn slpy . Then i walk out to nasi kandar buy a 'rati bakar' n eat. Actually is ivy buy 4 me . About 6 .15 v all reach hospital kajang ed. Tat time was still early so v all decided to go "pondok" sitting. 4 me i didin't slp at all cuz i was listening to my mp3 song n thinking bout my past memory . I was wondering why all this thing happen in my life then i think back again is maybe is my fate to know each of them . Actually i was very happy with everyone that i had meet in my own life . Although i can't be with them in this life i hope i will meet again in my next life . But what can do everyting was over. "Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice , because the flow that has pass will never pass again . Enjoy every moment of life......" . I still remember the way i bagging on them but still i didin't get a good respond from them. Then my fren told me one thing " Never explain yourself to any one . Because the person who likes u doesn't need it , and the person who dislike you won't believe it " . Then i think back it was really true . Haiz can say start from that day until now i still cant sleep properly . " when we wake up in the morning ,we have two simple choices . Go back to sleep and dream , or wake up and chase those dreams . The choice is yours...." . When i think of this sentences i feel it was absolutely right. From now on i will wake up and chase all my dream. HAha thats was so funny. Then today in the ward so busy . I was posted in wad 4 cubical 5 4 today . Actually wad 4 is not a crowded ward but what makes a lot of work is dressing . Today my cubical got 3 dreesing . Got 2 is like normal dressing , but the other 1 bed 40 the diagnosis is infected bed sore . She can say the whole body is full of wound and she keep on bleeding like non stop . The whole body superficial skin is peeling the skin was so dry and somemore the all the wound so smeely even the flies oso like to stay around. I feel like vomit when i smell at the wound even that time i was with my mask on . Our clinical instructor use to tell us that the person is in DIL stage . She says waiting for us to do last office. That ah po make me think about my grandfater. My grandfater pass away when i wan in form 4 . I miss him so much . Then i remember i use to tell someone that in my heart only got 2 man that i really care and love . One is ' him 'and the other one is my grandfater. But nw it seems everyting change already and i juz can't do anyting about it . Haiz then i continue to do my dreesing that time i was juz an assistance. Can u all imagine six people doing a dreesing . (include our CI ) haha . About 2 hours v do the dreesing include changing the linen . It was so damn hot . I was sweating . After that i do Ryle's tube feeding for the same patients . Damn tired . haha. Thats all i can say for today . Even i was very tired but in my heart i was so happy cause i help people . Ok lah thats all for today . nw is ed 9.59pm and i heven't wash my cloths . hehe . Last thing i want to say is " we meke them cry who care for us . We cry for those who never care for us . And we care for those who will never cry for us " THIS IS TRUE OF LIFE , IT IS STRANGE BUT TRUE . ONCE U REALISE THIS , IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE . And last thing 2 man that i mention juz now u will always in my heart forever.