I hate the day of my life ( sucks )

today really boring . Early morning wake up ed felt so sleepy , follow my mum go here and there............. came back do my case study , i spoilt my modem and my computer file corrupted all my files gone . I rush to the nearest cafe to complete the case study so that can pass it up to my fren as soon as possible . But in the end what did i got ?????????? my fren scold me like hell say all my work is rubbish. Haw can they say me like that i try my best to do . 1 thing for sure is this is the 1st time i do case study i am not really know about it so i just try to do all my best . But in the end they scold me like that. haiz then now the fucking indian girl say she didn't receive any e-mail from me what the hell is she talking about is all nonsen then my fren send to them they say they didn't receive any e-mail also . Then my fren told me i think they don't want to do the work so they say they didn't receive it . ( all Sohai , fuck ) i hate them . Indian people so lazy ask them go die then like to bluff people . I hate this kind of society ( all of them go hell better ) waiting me to feed them ; let them starving then slowly die better ; no tears for this kind of people . Haiz feel like wanna cry out don't know what I have done to deserve all this kind of punishment . God please help me . I really tired of everything . Feel like want to give up everything ; say goodbye to this wonderful world . I know i am just someone that is very useless . Just hate me if you really want cause i really don't care about it ................ ( juz fuck off )

4 oct 09

erm yesterday i didint write my blog cause the whole day went to times square and sungai wang shopping . When came back that time was damn tired already so i fall asleep . haha .... today went 1u shopping . I felt so happy cause i bought 1 mickey bag worth 169 ringgit . I love it so much . haiz, this few days really so tired dun have a proper sleep oso . Now even so stress for my case study haven't finish and presentation . a lot of work to do . Even though i so busy in my mind i still think of him . But is ok all will be alright . I am juz wondering how could this be you not here with me . Did all this thing really need to happen and makes me who i am today . It seems everyday in my mind i ask myself how did all this thing happen in my life ?????????? why !!!!!!!!!!! but is over . anyway though v far apart u always in my heart . U will always in my heart . Hope u happy everyday . Dun always sad for a person who never care for you. Cause he or she will never know how u feel . Lastly juz wan to let u know nobody know with the way i know u. Nobody know u more then me. Its seems like we are already so close to know each other. beside you are juz not the one for me . Anyway i hope we will be togather for the next birth. Really vry tired of love . It really so complicated for me. In this world nobody is perfect . Is really true . haiz tomolo go bac to college . miss all my fren . Now is already so late have to sleep . 12am in the morning . Sweet dream . Hope there will be a better day for tomorrow.

2 oct 09

today like usual wake up at 5.00am in the morning then go out eat roti bakar at ' NKS ' . Reach hospital at bout 6.45am . I straight away go up to the ward . Today i incharge cubical 4 , my partner is suhada , jananee & premah . Today my cubical was so easy . Only got 5 patients. All is independent patient . Susan was in cubical 5 i know there got a lot dreesing so i help her. Today is our last day at kajang so our clinical instructor pass back our academic report . My marks was not bad . But i still need to work hard for my #osky# in order to get 4 flat . hehe. Bout 1 pm all of our frens gathering with our CI and take picture for the last memory in Kajang hospital . After that each and everyone of us take turn to hug our CI . After that say our last goodbye to CI . Reach home as usual take out my lap top then facebook. Hehe thats my job. Juz like my fren say " you got no other better work to do are " so funny . I love this sentences so much . Then i go take my bath . Bout 6.15pm my frens and me went to eat at sunway damansara by walking after that went qiant . Bout 9pm sumting wee walk back to condominium . I walk until my foot superficial layer of the skin peel of . It was damn pain . But i juz can't do anyting i was pain. But for me the pain is tolerable. ok lah now oso vry late already . I felt so tired and sleepy . Enjoy every moment of life .

1 oct 09

haiz today vry boring .. morning wake up at 5.00 am . so damn slpy . Then i walk out to nasi kandar buy a 'rati bakar' n eat. Actually is ivy buy 4 me . About 6 .15 v all reach hospital kajang ed. Tat time was still early so v all decided to go "pondok" sitting. 4 me i didin't slp at all cuz i was listening to my mp3 song n thinking bout my past memory . I was wondering why all this thing happen in my life then i think back again is maybe is my fate to know each of them . Actually i was very happy with everyone that i had meet in my own life . Although i can't be with them in this life i hope i will meet again in my next life . But what can do everyting was over. "Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice , because the flow that has pass will never pass again . Enjoy every moment of life......" . I still remember the way i bagging on them but still i didin't get a good respond from them. Then my fren told me one thing " Never explain yourself to any one . Because the person who likes u doesn't need it , and the person who dislike you won't believe it " . Then i think back it was really true . Haiz can say start from that day until now i still cant sleep properly . " when we wake up in the morning ,we have two simple choices . Go back to sleep and dream , or wake up and chase those dreams . The choice is yours...." . When i think of this sentences i feel it was absolutely right. From now on i will wake up and chase all my dream. HAha thats was so funny. Then today in the ward so busy . I was posted in wad 4 cubical 5 4 today . Actually wad 4 is not a crowded ward but what makes a lot of work is dressing . Today my cubical got 3 dreesing . Got 2 is like normal dressing , but the other 1 bed 40 the diagnosis is infected bed sore . She can say the whole body is full of wound and she keep on bleeding like non stop . The whole body superficial skin is peeling the skin was so dry and somemore the all the wound so smeely even the flies oso like to stay around. I feel like vomit when i smell at the wound even that time i was with my mask on . Our clinical instructor use to tell us that the person is in DIL stage . She says waiting for us to do last office. That ah po make me think about my grandfater. My grandfater pass away when i wan in form 4 . I miss him so much . Then i remember i use to tell someone that in my heart only got 2 man that i really care and love . One is ' him 'and the other one is my grandfater. But nw it seems everyting change already and i juz can't do anyting about it . Haiz then i continue to do my dreesing that time i was juz an assistance. Can u all imagine six people doing a dreesing . (include our CI ) haha . About 2 hours v do the dreesing include changing the linen . It was so damn hot . I was sweating . After that i do Ryle's tube feeding for the same patients . Damn tired . haha. Thats all i can say for today . Even i was very tired but in my heart i was so happy cause i help people . Ok lah thats all for today . nw is ed 9.59pm and i heven't wash my cloths . hehe . Last thing i want to say is " we meke them cry who care for us . We cry for those who never care for us . And we care for those who will never cry for us " THIS IS TRUE OF LIFE , IT IS STRANGE BUT TRUE . ONCE U REALISE THIS , IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE . And last thing 2 man that i mention juz now u will always in my heart forever.